With Mother's Day fast approaching, I feel it's only appropriate to provide you with a small motherly anecdote. Feel free to do the same for me about your mother (Albany?). Sometimes my mother imparts such naked bluntness on a situation that I'm literally staggered by its exactitude. Prepare yourself, NYC.
(The Woobs and Mother sit in the dimly-lit kitchen finishing up dinner, when their 1-year old Labrador proudly struts in displaying an un-earthed slipper.)
THE WOOBS: Who's a good boy? Who is? You are! That's right it's you!!
MOTHER: I can't believe how fast he's growing.
THE WOOBS: I know, it really seems like he is bigger and bigger every day. His body looks like it's growing faster than his legs.
MOTHER: He looks like 10 lbs. of shit in a 5 lb. bag.
Peace and Love,